On Tap Podcast
On Tap is the podcast that celebrates the heart and soul of blue-collar working class culture. We'll be hosting some amazing folks from the blue-collar world and beyond. Listen in as we chat with industry legends, unsung heroes, and experts in their fields. Their stories, experiences, and insights will inspire and entertain you. Comedy is our secret sauce. Kody & Sam have a knack for turning everyday work stories into side-splitting anecdotes. Prepare for laughter, hilarious work-related mishaps, and a good dose of humor to brighten your day. Whether you're clocking in for your shift or winding down after a hard day's work, "On Tap" is your go-to podcast for a dose of blue-collar pride, a taste of the finest brews, a good laugh, and a fresh take on the world's current events. Subscribe now and be part of the working-class revolution!
On Tap Podcast
We Solved Sam's Problems Ft. T-Cav
What's in here:
• Sam's struggle with saving money
• The pressure of attending a costly bachelor party
• T-Cav's return - he's a plumber now
• Exploring the emotional costs of friendship
• Discussing the complexities of relationships and partnerships
• The importance of contributions in a relationship
• Sam's hesitations about dating and commitments
• Humor and heart in navigating adulthood
0:00 Financial Planning and Lifestyle Choices
11:08 Budgeting and Gambling in Vegas
18:39 Friendship, Responsibilities, and Life Choices
28:49 Navigating Relationships and Parenthood
39:25 Motivation and Life Choices
47:36 Convincing Sam to Date
59:55 Monopoly Ruins Relationships
Check out our sticker packs at OnTapWithTheBoiz.com
Welcome back to another episode of the ONTAP podcast. You got me Cody, my short-peckered friend Sam, and our good friend Mitch. Just kidding, it's T-Cav joining us in the studio again today after a long hiatus. It's been a long break. It has been a long break. T-cav is a plumber now. His ass crack is out right now, at this moment, can confirm.
Kody:It's part of the license you got to have a plumber.
Kody:Is that when you're getting your license?
Kody:No, it's when you apply. You have to have a good plumber Turn around. Yeah.
Kody:It's part of the interview. Your pants are too tall and take off that belt. All right, you're good, that's pretty much it.
Kody:That's how I got the job I think we're going to need you to gain 50 pounds.
Kody:You, you're a little skinny, all right. So, boys, today's episode is going to be all of just one big therapy session. I think we're gonna discuss what problems are in our life right now, and then we're just right now at the round table, at the actually this corner table. We're going to work through the problems with each other and solve solve the world's issues right now yeah, I absolutely.
Sam:You know, I think there's no better way to work out your personal problems and with your boys live on camera and I just I've got a couple things I've been trying to work out and sometimes, like with cody being an old man, it's nice to get some of that wisdom, like gandalf you know a little professor. If I may say, Cody's just got the knowledge and I'm here for it.
Kody:A little Professor.
Sam:Oak. Yeah, whatever the fuck that is Pokemon. Oh yeah, it is Pokemon. Sorry, I only know Harry Potter, but yeah, boys, you know I just one thing my biggest problem that I've been been really racking my brain on is I've been really working hard on saving my money. Like I'm in a position where I'm trying to level up, get to the next point in my life, and obviously the biggest problem that's stopping me is money, and so I've been staying home on weekends being a bum, trying to cook more meals, smoke less weed, and it's working. I've been saving the dough. It's been great. You know I don't work full-time in the summer or in the winter.
Sam:I was going to say damn Dude, part-time, year-round, Don't work full-time anyway A little teacher schedule, but yeah, hey, damn, dude, part-time, year-round, don't work full-time. Anyway A little teacher schedule, but yeah, dude, I don't work year-round. So I've been in this pattern over the last few years of working saving all summer, getting to winter, getting back down to damn near nothing, restarting again, and so I wanted to really break the trend this winter. Well, as I has been doing well with this, my buddy shout out carter, he's getting married, the boy's getting married. It's one of the first main friend group homies to get married that's true, it is and we're gonna have a bachelor party for him, which we're all excited.
Sam:I've never even been to a bachelor party. Well, he hits me up and he says, fuck it, we're not gonna do anything around here, we're going to vegas. I want to go to vegas for my bachelor party and I was kind of devastated by it, in a way of like are you fucking kidding me, dude? I've been saving all this money to then go to fucking vega.
Kody:I'm trying to buy a house because you're gonna blow it like you're going to blow it. You're going to blow it.
Sam:Now I have this pressure of going to Vegas for his bachelor party, but it's going to take a lot of money to make this happen. It's his bachelor party, so he wanted it to be special. Go a little balls out.
Kody:So this Vegas trip is your motivation to get money.
Sam:No, this Vegas trip is the thing that's I.
Kody:This is the problem.
Sam:So to get to the problem is I'm in a tough spot where I've been sacrificing weekend after weekend, not going out, not buying like I want a snowmobile really bad well, I want a fucking house a lot more than I want a snowmobile, so I'm in the same position.
Kody:I get that really when would you ride a snowmobile?
Kody:so I ain't getting a snowmobile. I'm in the same position I get that Really.
Kody:When would you ride a snowmobile, though? Dude, I was ready to buy a snowmobile today, and then I just got the bills thing in my head, like I have to get a house, I have to get a house, and I had to keep saying to myself I have to get a house, to not go buy the snowmobile.
Sam:So we can relate I would ride a snowmobile every day if I could. What the fuck are you talking about? No, you would not. You obviously don't have a sled.
Kody:You have a winter like we had last winter.
Kody:You obviously aren't about sled life.
Kody:Okay, it's a jet ski for wintertime. That's what it is You're right.
Kody:Have you ridden a jet ski?
Kody:Have you ridden a jet ski? Yes, two times.
Kody:And that's super Three times. And then it's another payment, it's another chunk of money sitting there. I bet if you rode it three times.
Kody:It would be just as fun for three times too. I don't know it's different snowmobiling. I will say that because more people have them and it's fun to get up go bar hopping on the snowmobiles. Go fishing with it. I would not go fishing.
Kody:Oh like on, the Go ice fishing you're saying yeah, you're saying uh, yeah, I don't do that. Yeah, but you don't got to take them, they're easier, sled route, they're easier than a jet ski.
Kody:You don't have to take it to a lake and all that, you can just get on it and just ride it anywhere. Yeah, but I guess it's different for me now. Yeah, especially now that now having kids you can I mean they're not old enough I can't bring them on the on the snowmobile you know, like there's it's, there's no convenience aspect to it.
Kody:It is fun you could take them on, it is fun but I don't think you get your money's worth out of it. I think, dollar for dollar, you're way better off buying a side by side dude a side by side's a car that's what I'm saying. You drive it everywhere you're wrong.
Kody:Yeah, but it's like the same price as a car, no no, no, no, no.
Kody:You look at some used ones on marketplace right now, dude, it is tanking, yeah but they're fucked, dude.
Sam:You see what people do with side by sides there's a real side by sides are the type of thing you buy, beat the fuck out of when it's about to blow up, you sell it and then you go get a new.
Kody:Exactly everybody knows you know how many times I've driven a side by side not wide open never. How many times, how many.
Kody:You're just a skilled driver.
Kody:How many times have you taken a side by side out just for a little jaunt and not not done when I owned one all the time, because I would drive it to walmart. I'd go drive and you're telling me when you went to walmart, you didn't rap on it at least one time oh yeah, definitely exactly, but not enough for it to fuck the next guy that bought it.
Sam:You don't know that it could You're telling me that there wasn't a couple things in your head like After a couple beers.
Kody:Oh no, I beat the shit out of it. For sure I beat the shit out of it.
Sam:But I'm saying there had to be a couple things in the back of your head. Would you have sold it? It had a lot of life left in it and warranty.
Kody:Whoever was getting it was like it's not that big of a risk, dude.
Sam:You know how many buddies I have that have been like oh yeah, I'm selling my truck or my side by side, whatever it is. And then a friend asked them like how much I might buy it, and they're like I wouldn't sell it to you.
Kody:Yeah, well, that was like when I sold that Yukon I had 330,000 miles on that thing I had a bunch of friends hit me up because I posted on Marketplace for $1,500, fully expecting to get like $1,000. You know. So I had a bunch of friends hit me up. Hey saw you got this thing for sale. My little brother is looking for this, or, you know, I'm looking for a commute or whatever, whatever. And I'm like, no, do not buy this. I want this to go to someone I don't know you're gonna have to eat shit on 50.
Kody:I was I was very transparent with everyone, regardless if I knew them or not, that it was a piece of shit too, like I told them hey, this is what it is. It's got 330 000 good break tomorrow. It literally could last another 10 years, or it could last 10 minutes dude, you bought it.
Sam:I've been in those tough positions before where, like, I had a 6.0 gasser that I was trying to sell because I found the car I wanted, got pre-approved for the loan and I was going to use this truck for my down payment and so I was trying to sell it quick. I had it on Marketplace and my dad's like, hey, the neighbor really wants your truck. And, dude, this truck was fucked. Like if you were driving in two-wheel drive it would make this terrible sound. I would drive everywhere in four-wheel, which is worse for it. Just so I didn't have to listen to that sound like it was fucked and I knew it. None of the windows worked, like I think the the front passenger side worked and I was like it was a big moment where I was like do I really want to sell it to the neighbor?
Kody:yeah he can just walk over here. You're going to get him knocking on your door in three days, Dude I sell it to the neighbor.
Sam:Take the $2,500 that I got for it and then I'm sitting there stressing dude, I'm like fucking, this thing's fucked. Two weeks later, rear end goes out on it. I'm holy fuck dude. I dodged a bullet. He never said shit to me besides that. I was like how's the truck? He's like not good. Rear end just went on okay, back to the problem.
Kody:Back to the problem. Your problem is you need to save money. So this trip to las vegas is going to be a big issue for you because you think you're going to spend way too much money.
Sam:It's not even like the saving money is a huge part of it, but another part of why I'm hesitant to spend money on a trip like this is because of all the time I've already given up to save this money, like all the all the fun nights I passed on just so I didn't have 140 bar tab. And you know, vegas is not my call, I don't like to gamble it. Actually, I hate losing money more than I enjoy winning it and I just like that's a good point. When you put all the all the expenses together, it just it would kill me to put all this time and effort in to just blow it at a place I'm not even that excited to go to right but it's also my buddy since kindergarten.
Kody:Well, actually the nice thing about vegas is literally whatever you want to do, they have it like you name it, you can do it, and the only downside is you have to pay for it. Everything costs money, and vegas is not cheap. It's cheap to go to, but while you're there is not cheap.
Kody:It's cheap to go to, but while you're there is not cheap. Flights are always dirt cheap, hotels are very reasonable and almost always you'll get invited back for free if you sign up for whatever player's card of whatever casino you're staying at. But everything there is expensive. I remember the first time I was ever in Vegas, on my 21st birthday, I go up to this bar and they had these tall plastic cups and it was like a Jack and Coke smoothie or something. I was like hell yeah, I'll take two of those. I had someone with me, bought them and then they slide me the bill and it was like 68 bucks.
Kody:I remember being like no, I only got two. They're like this is for two $34 for one.
Kody:Oh shit, dude, but you get to keep no shame, that was their big that was their big deal.
Kody:It was at the d right on fremont too well, and that's exactly. You are exactly what they are looking for for the guy to be like that looks cool, I want that, and then not tell you anything until you get in the bill, you know yeah, man, I don't think there was a price up.
Sam:I can get too ready for you right now, baby yeah, yeah.
Kody:So your problem is just you don't have enough money my problem is I don't have enough money.
Sam:In the money I have, I'm not comfortable blowing it in fucking vegas.
Kody:You know, it's like I could buy a house you don't have to just walk around with everyone it everyone.
Kody:It'll be great entertainment to just walk around, dude, that's so gay.
Kody:No, it's not, it really isn't.
Kody:In Vegas. There's so much going on all the time, yeah, but all your buddies want to play blackjack and you have to stand there and watch them play blackjack.
Kody:Well, here's the problem anyways, Finding an open table anywhere. If it's busy, you get one or two people to sit down and you're standing anyways, sam, why?
Kody:don't you just give yourself a limit, just $1,000. Just say $1,000. Just bring $1,000 cash with, and that's what you do.
Sam:But that's the problem. How much am I already in for the flights? The hotel Dude, it starts fucking adding up.
Kody:Well, only if you had a way to calculate that. I don't have a money, guy dude pull up the calculator app on your phone but that's what I'm saying.
Kody:I don't want to spend any fucking money so it sounds like the only solution to this problem is making more money or not go to vegas.
Sam:Well, so you have to go though I guess, to really break it down, which you just answered, is do I have to make this work as a buddy like if I skip out on this bachelor party? I'm a part of the wedding. You know I'm a groomsman in this wedding. You have to go you have to.
Kody:So so I guess now you're saying I have to go, you do have to go, no matter what.
Sam:I just have to suck it up and be there. But while I'm there I can. I can manage budget myself as well as possible.
Kody:I just say give, yeah, give yourself whether you feel comfortable with 500 cash a thousand dollars, cash two thousand dollars cash just whatever. Just bring that dollar amount with and as soon as your cash is gone, that's it. But I do understand.
Kody:After a few drinks definitely is hard to you know dave ramsey over here is trying to get you to put your money into stocks and bonds instead of yeah, let's talk about xrp, let's talk about xrp instead I think honestly, are you staying at airbnb or hotel?
Sam:so we haven't worked it out that far. If I had to guess, I'd say hotel okay.
Kody:So hotel is nice because it's convenient. You're always going to be within walking distance of everything. Now the upside to the Airbnb is it'll be a probably a little bit cheaper splitting it between people and you can pregame. You can, like, keep food and drinks at the crib, which is huge. Now, the only downside a lot of places you're going to have to Uber if you don't want to pay for an expensive Airbnb. So that's something to consider. But the trick is pregame when you can in your hotel room, in your Airbnb, whatever. Make sure you got at least a couple beers, a couple bottles, whatever you need in there and before you're going out, make sure you hit a couple of those. Nice part about Vegas is marijuana is legal. You can go to a dispensary and you could be. You could have a pretty good time for the entire trip for a lot cheaper than it would be to be drinking on those things that you get from the dispensary, or you're forgetting this very valuable point.
Kody:You could win, that's true. Put it all on black. You're forgetting that.
Sam:That's very true, it could change. It could change so fast. I could make enough to buy the house I want and have the trip of my life Exactly.
Kody:You got to think about it in a positive way. What if you went there with your $1,000 that you allowed yourself to have? You put it all on red, you got $2,000 off the line and then you put it all on red again $4,000.
Sam:And then you put it all on black. Eight thousand dollars, all right. And then you put it all on black again boom 16 grand.
Kody:There you go. That's pretty. That's a. That's good down payment on a fucking town. That's good seed money. And then you take it to binions on fremont street, go straight to the dean martin slot machine. You hit that. Ain't that a kick in the head? Bonus off of a five dollar and 62 cent spin that that might be shit it depending on how the wilds come across the screen. We're talking potentially 30 grand.
Sam:I did all of a sudden hear a rumor and I don't know it to be true. But is prostitution legal in Vegas?
Kody:No, but it is outside of Vegas, right in Vegas, it's not really.
Kody:Yeah.
Sam:So you just got, you can definitely do it.
Kody:There's cards all over the ground when you're there and you can pick them up, and there's literally a naked chick on there. You call the number and they'll go to your hotel room so like if I wanted to get one for a friend.
Sam:It would be that easy to find them yeah, they're all over the place. That's good, but it is not legal because I have friends that would totally be interested in a prostitute that would. This information would fucking be invaluable to.
Kody:Oh you, I mean, even if I didn't tell you, you would know the second you got there. There's literally guys all over the place handing out these cards, but they can't like haggle you, you know, they can't mention it, they're just like sitting there slapping these cards.
Sam:Do you happen to know the punishment if you do get caught?
Kody:no, I don't, no I don't no sure I mean it doesn't matter, I've only known one person to ever call any of these cards or you could just spend that thousand dollars on a hooker dude, that would make it an awesome trip, but I'd say the wisest thing to do is, if you went there with a thousand dollars cash and you went to the roulette table, take half of it, take $500, put it on whatever color you think it is and then, if you lose it, just spare the $500 for the rest of the trip if you win it.
Sam:But here's the thing, bro. I need you to understand that if I lost a $20 hand at Hinkley, I would be devastated.
Kody:I know I understand that I just can't handle losing money.
Sam:If I fucking put $500 on red and lost, I might as well sit in the Airbnb the rest of the goddamn trip. I'm done, dude, that would kill me.
Kody:That's weakness mentality.
Sam:You know how many sorry ass rides I've had home from the Hinkley Casino Over $60. I get it, dude. I get it, dude, I it's. I get it like it is. So I can handle watching people gamble, like if a couple buddies are like, yeah, let's go to the casino, I'm more down just for the atmosphere and the drinks. I'll watch gambling for a night. But I fucking I don't know if I could do it if I, if I go to the casino and I lose, you know, a hundred plus dollars.
Kody:I feel the same way you do, like I'm. I'm mad at myself for the rest of the fucking night until I go to bed. But if I lose 60, 70 dollars or whatever it's a friday night or whatever I would just consider it as what would I? What would a night have cost to me if I were to go do something that wasn't the casino spoken?
Kody:like a true gambling, say yeah, say I went to, say I went to the cities with my friends, you know.
Kody:We hit a bar, went to can can wonderland, bought drinks there. Whatever, I know that night is going to cost me a hundred dollars. So if I lose sixty dollars at the casino, in my mind it's like, well, I was, it's friday night. I'm no matter what I'm going to spend sixty dollars period.
Kody:It's like four in the morning, so he's sweating. Rips off the covers, all right, I'm going back down there but you're gonna spend it anyways is my point.
Kody:You're, you're there to have fun, you're there for a bachelor party.
Sam:That's the whole point, yeah and I've also never been so like, and you've never. What a better time to go. It's a vacation.
Kody:It's a vacation, you have to experience it.
Sam:You gotta oh my god, dude, I'm so glad like this was a real life problem and I feel so much better about it now, dude, because I was fully like, fuck that, I ain't going money coming, money going ain't like you can take it with scared money. Don't make money dude, and that's some true shit that like. So my dad. You know this is where it comes from. My dad missed two family vacations in my childhood because my mom scheduled it for during work season. He's a seasonal worker.
Sam:He was like fuck that I'm not missing a whole week of work for vacation. That's fucking pussy shit. And so I now like I can feel that shit ingrained in me. It's like miss work for fun. Are you kidding me? But like I was just talking to my dad, because my dad is just a few years away from retirement to retirement. My mom's right behind him and she's starting to like talk about all these big trips and he's like fucking, I don't know if I want to do this and I'm like why you've been working your entire life to get to this moment where you can do this you want.
Sam:This is the point, and luckily, my dad being blue collar, he got switched into a management, less labor intensive job, so his body is still pretty good. He still has 10 good years of being able to do whatever he wants at least, and he's sitting there like fucking sorry ass about it. Maybe I should take a fucking lesson from myself.
Kody:You know Right.
Sam:How often am I going to get the opportunity to go to Vegas with some of my best friends for my buddy from kindergarten's bachelor?
Kody:party. That's a good point.
Sam:You have to go regardless.
Kody:This is what you also realize. There's not a lot of these opportunities going to be left. Everyone's going to start having kids. Everyone's going to start getting busy. You know, everyone's going to start having kids. Everyone's going to start getting busy.
Kody:People are going to move. Dude, we're already busy. How often, like Sam, me and you used to hang out all the time. It was like an every weekend scenario, like not me and you directly correlated, but it was like there was a party and we knew we were going to see each other at it, right? How often do we have that now In the last year or or two? How often do me and you just like know we're gonna bump into each other?
Kody:at a party. Hey, we got this thing called the cell phone. You guys can keep in touch whenever you want. True, the phone works both ways, but there's not it.
Kody:We're say that it doesn't work like you're not out doing things at our age now all the time.
Kody:It's not every weekend right, yeah, you got responsibility, yeah, you have bills to pay.
Kody:You have responsibilities. You might have to work a weekend or something. It's not like we're at 17 and we know we're going to see each other at a party the next weekend.
Kody:I think, yeah, the more that we talk about this, the more I'm all in on you. Just go there and blow as much money as you can. No, dude, I can't. That would kill me.
Sam:But that would kill me. But it all comes down to discipline and self-control. If I can hold my ground and come up with a number that I'm comfortable with, fuck it.
Kody:Are you going to get the tattoo while you're there?
Sam:Fuck, no, dude, I'm not a tattoo guy. I really get buyer's remorse when I buy even something over $100. I'm very wishy-washy on decisions when it comes to myself. There's no way I could commit to something forever. Like dude, I've thought about it. Maybe like a memorial tattoo. That really means something to me. That's it. There's no like Will has like bean boy. He's got a playboy bunny on his thigh. Like I was really popular Like you know 15 years ago, yeah, and it's really gonna be cool when he's 65, it's gonna be badass his upside down.
Sam:Pineapple dude, that shit is gonna rock in the in the nursing home one day dude yeah, I mean I can't say much.
Kody:I have my wife's name on my ass, you know.
Sam:So like, so like if we ever split up.
Kody:I'll just keep adding to the list, I guess.
Sam:You just got to cross it out. Move on, baby. That should be. You ever get divorced, you know. Hopefully it doesn't happen. That should be the first thing on your agenda. Dude, just straight X. Don't even black it out, don't try to cover it up.
Kody:Got to change it into something funny, I'll just put, because it just says Taylor in like a typewriter font. I'll just put was here.
Kody:Maybe cross it out, put your son's name Like just so you can remember he's a bitch Perfect spot, he's a bitch Perfect spot. I do have to quick piss before we go into Sam's next problem.
Kody:Yeah, absolutely we. I do have to quick piss before we go into.
Kody:Sam's next problem.
Kody:Yeah, absolutely, we'll be right back. Oh God, tkf, it's good to have you back. Man, it's good to have you back. All of our guests are leaving us nowadays to go piss. Mid-episode we lose them.
Sam:It's fucking bullshit, dude.
Kody:I'll hold my piss. All day I've been trying to think of a good problem that would be worth working out here with both of you guys. I'm going to have to wait until T-Cab is back.
Sam:Well, you were telling me, when you pee, it stings like a motherfucker.
Kody:It's actually funny that you say that. Okay, so I recently actually went to the doctor, because this is a thing that I haven't had to take. But it's like in my stomach, not in my unit.
Sam:So when you take a piss you get a weird like pain in your stomach.
Kody:Yeah, like my bladder hurts. Dude, that's scary, it's like in my belly and when I went to the, I just did a bad job of explaining it to the doctor. Whoever I worked with, All right. Because it was obviously my wife works at the same clinic that I went to. Yeah, the same clinic that I went to, yeah, and so this lady who was my doctor, she goes. Uh, I gotta ask is there any new sexual partners? And I was like no, no, no, this is like. No, I'm, I'm explaining this bad.
Sam:She knows your wife works there right, yeah, yeah so it was a really awkward.
Kody:Like you could tell she was avoiding the question. I'm like no, no, no, no, no, no. This is not like a I caught something kind of thing. I think like this is something wrong inside of me, and yeah. So basically I ended up doing a urine test and a blood test and they found absolutely nothing. I think I just found out I was drinking too much water, really, cause, like in the morning I'll have, I'll have a gallon down by like 10 am, no way, and then I'm pissing for 20 every 20 minutes for the whole rest of the day. But that's why I think my shit was getting stretched out and then it would go. You were just water drunk. Probably my bladder would hurt so bad and that was the pain that I was going through and that would scare, and they just had no idea. You know, whatever they didn't find anything. Everything comes back completely normal, like we don't know what to do. I was like well, me either. And then I just stopped drinking as much water and it went away dude.
Sam:Okay, I don't know, I just worked out this problem myself.
Sam:This this brought me into a weird tangent, you know, because obviously you're fine, but I was just listening to a podcast. Uh, where we're? This comedian, francis ellis. I'm a big fan of him, he's smaller and he was talking about how he got diagnosed with cancer. He went in for a checkup and and the doctor called him and they were like hey, we need you to call our office immediately. We've got some news for you. He calls in. They needed him to come into the office. They tell him he has cancer and he's like holy fuck, he was actually.
Sam:He works for barstool. He was in the middle of barstool idol, where they like hire people, they have to compete, and then whoever survives gets hired. And he, he was in the middle of this. So he goes back into the office and they tell him like or he has. They were like where the fuck were you dude? He's like I'm sorry, I I just got back from the doctor and they literally told me I have cancer and everyone was like what the fuck? This is in the middle of barstool idol. A week later he gets a call from the doctor's assistant and she calls him and she's like hey, we have great news. We actually mismatched your test results.
Kody:You are perfectly fine, oh my God.
Kody:So he had to go back and say he didn't have cancer.
Sam:He literally had no cancer. The lady that it was actually a woman. Because that's when they realized, oh, we fucked up, because they found it was a woman's cells that were in the test, not a man's. And he's like thinking like, holy fuck. This lady was told she's perfectly fine. He got the best call he could have ever gotten. Oh shit, he's getting the worst call and then he had to go tell everybody now that he already won it. Dude. Oh now that he already won it, dude oh he was hired barstool idol on the premise of that he had cancer.
Sam:He then had to tell him barstool fans are ruthless dude. He then had to tell them that he does not have cancer and immediately it switched to francis lied about cancer to win dude.
Kody:Imagine that, though, like he shows you know he's gone from work, from the office or whatever, he shows back up and some snarky guy in the office is like where have you been skipping work? And he's just like I have cancer, like the amount of I'm so bad you would feel after that.
Sam:I missed this part in the story and I decided it would have fucked the flow up if I stopped. But literally one of the main part of the story is this so KFC Radio, they were interviewing everybody personally that was on the show, it was a segment in their radio show and he was late and they were looking all over for him. And KFC is like dude, what the fuck, get in here. They throw him right into the interview and they're like where were you On the show live lot and and he's like, sorry, I, I was, I was at the doctor.
Sam:And he's like, oh, don't tell me, you got fucking cancer. Oh, I swear to god dude and he's like well, yeah, actually that's exactly what they told me. So it's like, I guess what I'm trying to say is jesus, hopefully you don't get a call in two weeks.
Kody:Yeah, hopefully they got the test results right't get a call in two weeks. Yeah, Hopefully they got the test results right. It's been longer than two weeks. This was like November oh thank. God. So we're good. I think I don't know. Hopefully I got all my test results back and they're looking good. We're alright, we'll be alright. Hopefully it stops hurting when I pee In my stomach.
Sam:So, Sam, what's your next issue you're dealing with at hand? Well, since it became the Sam's fucking problem show one thing that has been irking my brain and I really as two guys that are just in beautiful relationships that I look up to, especially Cody, not only beautiful relationships, but beautiful themselves.
Kody:Yeah, fit, handsome, very beautiful women. I mean the only beautiful relationships, but beautiful themselves.
Kody:Yeah, fit, very beautiful Handsome.
Sam:I mean the men. They hold their ground too. I think you guys batted right in the park.
Kody:I think they are just as lucky as you are.
Sam:And you know, I feel that there are people that aren't looking to have a significant other at all times. But you know, know everyone deep down, they're looking for love and if you say different, you're lying or you're ugly and I, I just I've been racking my brain because you know, there's a part of me I'd love to have a significant other, but also it's like I do whatever the fuck I want every day and nobody tells me different I if, if my buddies called me and they wanted to go to Vegas tomorrow, I could.
Kody:Without having to run it through anyone.
Sam:I don't have a family I don't have a family, and there's a lot of different reasons, like getting yelled at or having them ruin your night, embarrassing you in front of your friends. There's all these sorts of reasons. You talk to your buddies. They're like God, I fucking hate my girlfriend. So I want to talk to you two you two that are in loving relationships and I just want you to convince me that it would be a good idea To have a significant other.
Kody:Yeah, okay. So this goes back to the saving money thing.
Kody:If you want to do that.
Kody:I would say Don't get into a relationship. It's definitely not a cheap ordeal you can have double income yeah, to get a house, you can. That can make it easier well, you can be what they call a dink dual income, no kids and uh that is, you'd easily make over a hundred thousand combined a year because I'm looking for low self-esteem.
Kody:I'm looking for there's an issue with that that if you don't want the yelling at you and getting mad at you for no reason.
Sam:The low self-esteem part is not where you want to go yeah, but I want them to thrive for my love and acceptance. I want that. I want them to want, yes, me to accept there's yeah, there's.
Kody:There's two kinds. You can either have the low self-esteem one, or you can have a good one, and the low self-esteem one wants your acceptance. But you will have a lot more annoying of a relationship than if you get a normal one.
Sam:That's true. And one thing I've picked up on is you don't want the no friend loser, because that adds a whole there's a reason when it's like too clingy, where they like literally have no friends. Yeah, it's typically a pretty attractive girl right?
Kody:no, fucking friends.
Kody:There's a reason why there's a big part of that, though I think like, uh, social dynamics are a lot different for women than it is for men. You know, men have a beef. We'll squash it in person right now, right yeah, we were just talking about this, but you know, girls, they'll leave it for months, years, and then they'll stop talking to each other, and then it'll be like this hatred thing.
Kody:And they'll die on that hill. They will never say anything to each other first. Fuck that bitch, and it will just grow worse and worse. It'll start with just not replying to the group message and then, all of a sudden, it'll go to a different group and then, all of a sudden, it'll be that group has one person that's not replying, and then it'll be another group, and then it'll just be we don't talk anymore and then it'll be something that happens and they're just looking for reasons to hate each other.
Kody:Well, Sam, I will say on the girl part, you are only seeing the guy part of it. You know there's two sides to every story, no matter what right. You're only seeing your boy's side of the story. Good point You're never seeing the girl's side of the story. You're never seeing when that guy gets home from work and his girlfriend has a lovely meal made for him. You're not seeing any of that. You're only seeing him saying fucking bitch, won't, let me go out tonight.
Kody:That's the only part of it. You're seeing Good point. Yeah, that's the only part of it. You're seeing Good point? Yeah, because that's the position you're in You're the single buddy that has the life that they want.
Sam:So they're unloading this on you because you are the envy 100% In my dumb brain. When I was a young man, I would assume that the reason they went through this bullshit was because of the consistent pussy. I mean, that's reason they went through this bullshit was because of the consistent pussy.
Kody:But I mean, that's a part of it.
Sam:But you start talking to some of your buddies that are now in the longterm. Especially if there's a kid, they're like dude. I haven't been laid in fucking three months I don't even know what pussy feels like anymore. And then it's like it makes me wonder, even more like so what? What's the end goal in this?
Kody:and I realize you know that's just, that's just something that happens it happens to everybody, but it's like so you want to be convinced that you should put your name into the dating pool because, dude, honestly, like I.
Sam:I don't do anything. I don't. I don't even have a dating profile on any app. I don't reach out. Yeah, because I am fucking. Denial is like my biggest fear in the entire world, like I would rather die than put myself out there and get denied. Dude, I think on shit for a long time and it will eat me and I just you know, Do you?
Kody:well, I guess let me me ask this do you ever want to have kids like do? You see yourself being a father at some point.
Sam:So that honestly, I think it's selfish, because that's really the only thing that has me even thinking about it okay because, like I, I know that I'm still really young and I have that I have a good 10 years that I have where I could have a kid and still not be the old dad.
Kody:Yeah.
Sam:But I'm getting to the age where it's fucking coming up close Start looking. I remember thinking that my parents were old as fuck. When they had me, they were 29. It's getting there, dude, not that old yeah.
Kody:No, you are right, I think, because my parents were both 20 when I was born, and so for me it was always my parents were both 20 when I was born, and so for me it was always my parents were the young parents. Yeah, but I did have a buddy whose dad was like 65 when he was born, and so by the time we were, like you know, 15 years old, like he was an old man grandpa dad yeah, he was an old man, like he couldn't do shit, he wasn't running around with us, he wasn wasn't playing catch, and I'm sure that kid was a little shit.
Kody:Yeah, definitely Because, dude, I've seen.
Sam:That's what my uncle is Like. He is the product of a grandpa dad, like my grandpa got remarried, had my uncle when he was in his mid-40s. Well, he didn't. You know, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted to. Grandpa was worried about taking his pain meds you know, didn't you know he could do? Whatever the fuck he wanted to. Grandpa was worried about taking his pain meds, you know.
Kody:Yeah, he could barely walk to the other side of the house. That's so sad too, but as a guy you can really have kids at any age. As a woman it's considered high risk, I think after like 35 or 33, something like that, like they got such a shorter window when they can reproduce. They go through a hell of a lot different process than what we do, though.
Sam:Their body changes, everything changes to bring it back to like the kids. You know like that's another pressure is. A lot of my friends either have kids or are have like their significant other is pregnant right now and it's like fuck, I missed the first wave, so now I'm thinking like they're all probably gonna have a second. I gotta hit the second wave.
Kody:No, I get that.
Sam:I feel that Because, dude, I have friends that my dad is from Siren Wisconsin, about 40 minutes from us. I have six friends from there that were my dad's best buddy's kids that I would kill someone for I'm a product of a bunch of homies being like let's have kids and have them hang out like I lived that, and so I want that more than anything for my kids.
Kody:It'll just naturally happen like that, though I mean regardless. If it's not your friends that you have kids with. At the same time, you'll meet people yeah you know, it's like um, all my buddies with older kids now that are in like hockey and whatnot, like all those guys are hanging out with the other hockey dads.
Sam:That is true, cause my dad just got new homies that are the same. When I started playing hockey, he inherited a whole new friend group, and a lot of them still are there today, so I totally get what you're saying.
Kody:Yeah, It'll just, it'll just naturally come that way, so I wouldn't be worried too much about that, honestly. But I mean, if you want to have kids, obviously you gotta have a gal around.
Kody:You gotta have a decent gal around you gotta.
Kody:Now the trick is vetting her long enough to figure out if that's the right one. I think personally. I think you jump head over heels into the dating pool, figure out the one before you're locked in in, and then you're like, oh, I'm just too old now, like I just have to settle down with this one.
Kody:You gotta start trying, because if you start trying, you know what you want, you figure out and you find red flags and women that you know you know is a big no-no yeah but, the only way to know that is to try tell you what you want to try it out.
Kody:We'll life swap for about two weeks like fuck yeah, I'm all in, I'll go live with scrat. You come and stay at the house, take care of the kids, pay the bills do I have to sleep in the spare bedroom, or did I get?
Sam:take a little daddy, so you can take?
Kody:the bed that's your wife, that's your wife for two weeks.
Kody:I feel like you know, I get, I get like that you were talking about, like the women nagging, you know, and not letting you go out and all that, and that is, you know, something that we all go through as guys with our women.
Kody:But it is kind of yin and yang. You do have to have a significant other. I think it helps you make make yourself feel more complete, like if you have a peaceful other. I think it helps you make make yourself feel more complete like if you have a peaceful girlfriend or a peaceful wife, whatever the case may be. When you go home and you have a girl that you can vent to, that has dinner ready and you can and she'll just listen to you bitch about work or how shitty your day was, and they just take it. And being able to talk to someone like that and then go to bed with them is and you know you have that every single day. Yeah, you know it's like a, like a best friend. You know they'll never be one of the boys, but it's like a best friend that you always have, that you get to have sex with that day.
Kody:If you just shift your perspective, you can already do that. I'm sure you can find one of the homies that's willing to let you hit. Oh yeah, you just got to switch your idea around. Scrap my flip.
Kody:No, scrap isn't hard to get, dude.
Kody:He's been trying for years.
Sam:I've been pitching it to him. I'm like dude we live together, we might as well adopt a child.
Kody:Listen, you got health insurance. I don't Let, I don't, let's get married.
Sam:Let's Chuck and Larry Do that shit.
Kody:If they raise a kid, it would be fucking Ricky out trailer park boys.
Sam:If they raise a kid, that's exactly how Wearing flame button up shirts, dude, if I, if I turn 30 Without a kid, I'm going to adopt one, and it's just gonna be Me and the homie. Yeah, he'll probably be a Chinese boy or something. Yeah, get them smart.
Kody:That would actually be sweet. You skip kind of like the first, because the worst part of having a kid or I should say the worst part, the hardest part is like the first eight weeks. They're just up 24-7. If you could skip that and just roll right into young enough where all they know is you but old enough where you skip that hard part, I think that's kind of the sweet spot as a parent who just wants a kid.
Sam:No, that's fair.
Kody:It's not like you're getting two-month-old babies adopted, unless that's already pre-lined up.
Sam:Yeah, if it was like a get them right at the hospital.
Kody:Yeah.
Kody:I wouldn't mind, just picking up a five-year-old one day, Get him to go. Yeah, you know like.
Sam:Yeah right, what's up, brother, you want to get in?
Kody:That would, yeah, be my son. You could just spawn a kid in at five years old, this driver on the neighborhood first kid biking.
Sam:That looks cool.
Kody:You want a new dad. Is your dad an asshole?
Sam:I bet he is Get in. Come on, I got candy and weed in here.
Kody:Actually, now that I think about it, I'm going to buy a van and I think that's going to be my new plan.
Sam:Dude, that would be cool to adopt a 16-year-old and get high with them and shit. Oh my God, Just ruin their life.
Kody:They've already been through the foster care system and now you're just gonna smoke weed with. Well, I can assume. I think that's the exact opposite if they're 16 in the foster care program. They definitely smoke weed yeah, I'm not gonna get them involved, like if he smokes, oh my god, yeah let's fucking get hot this video is gonna be used as proof at the hearing for your adoption.
Kody:That's like okay yeah, I just want to pick up a 16 year old kid and get high with him. He's out. I just want to pick up a 16-year-old kid and get high with him.
Kody:He's out, yeah, he's out.
Sam:He probably gets drunk. He'd be sick.
Kody:So what are your thoughts? Do you think you've been persuaded? You think you're going?
Kody:to start dating. No, I don't think he's been persuaded.
Sam:Dude, honestly one of the main— See, it's funny because I go back and forth where, like, where, like. Obviously I don't have too much of a problem putting myself out there in general. Look at what we're doing right now. This is literally like a look at me, look at me, laugh. Yeah right but putting myself out there in a dating atmosphere, dude like it's, it's fucking scary to me, like I making it dude, because here's where my mind goes.
Sam:My mind goes to making a tinder profile, thinking of someone screenshotting it, sending it to their friends being like this is so fucking gay.
Kody:Because I've seen dude, I've had other girls send me my friend's Tinder profile. Like oh my God, look who I saw. Or that guy calling them gay too.
Sam:And then like what the fuck that's so cringey?
Kody:Yeah, it is definitely.
Kody:It doesn't have to be Tinder but you have to try, you have to start somewhere.
Kody:Here's the problem. Nowadays, where are you meeting girls if not online? You are not.
Sam:The last girl that I talked to pretty consistently. Tyler and I at work had a very similar conversation to this. He got me on Tinder and I met a girl immediately and then I just never went on it again. So I know it fucking works. It's just about getting that hype up.
Kody:Yeah, yeah, you're right now, but here's the problem if you don't go the internet route, you're limited to. You don't go to church bars, church dude. That's the thing, though. That's honest to god, why a lot of young people go to church to find other people.
Sam:The only girl that I would meet at church is a girl that's trying to fix me. Dude, I would never run Well dude, there's other places.
Kody:I mean fucking go skiing.
Kody:Fuck. Go to the troll hog and meet a girl. There's not much of a social environment.
Sam:Give a stripper all my money and hope she falls in love with me.
Kody:That's honestly not a bad idea. You double up on the Vegas trip. You got both of these problems knocked out.
Sam:Hey, baby, you want to move back to Minnesota? I got a spare room for you.
Kody:This girl that I know that I went to ice with. Actually, you know her too. She was in Las Vegas and met a homeless guy. They took him to the bars and they're just like this guy's cool as fuck. Hey, you want to come live in Minnesota? Sure, they drove back with this homeless guy in her truck. That's insane. He comes back to Minnesota and it's like a couple months goes by and they're like hey, what's your plan?
Sam:Is that the dude that lives right behind us out in?
Kody:the streets. No, no, oh my God. They're like, hey, what are you going to do? You're like not doing anything and he's like, yeah, nothing, really Just going to chill. Okay, he's like all right, well, I'm going back to Vegas, Like okay.
Kody:So he goes back to Vegas being able to chill full time would be kind of sick, yeah, honestly it would kind of. But I'd get way too bored.
Kody:I don't know if I could, but I think that's just a mentality thing that you have, like, if you could, I could change it, if you could accept the fact that you're just gonna chill for the rest of your life.
Kody:Yeah, and that's like the hippie wave yeah like look at the hippies, they didn't have any money and they were happy and they were chill. Like they say, money doesn't buy happiness, you know.
Kody:But it does help.
Kody:It does help. I just had this conversation today with uh, my co, my co-worker, reed, is. It doesn't buy happiness directly, but it sure does make it a hell of a lot easier. If you don't have to worry about anything now, if you're homeless and you accept the fact that you don't have to worry about bills, then it's just endless chill time yeah, it really is.
Kody:Honestly, I think it really just is like what's your version of chill? You know what's your version?
Kody:of relaxing.
Kody:That's chill, but smoking old Betty you have to deal with the idea that you can't get anything else. You know, you have to be perfectly comfortable with what you have in front of you, which I think is, you know, a lot of people's issues, including myself. That's like. That's what drives me I want this thing or I want this lifestyle.
Kody:You just can't want that. You have to be happy within yourself. You gotta let go of it. You have to pull a hippie. You have to be happy within yourself and that's all that matters. Damn, that's deep. Yeah, okay, Like. Look at those. They lived in a fucking Volkswagen van and they were the happiest people ever.
Kody:Good point. Now here's the problem Again we go back to the whole kid thing.
Kody:It'd be a lot harder to do. You can't do that.
Kody:It'd be a lot harder to just chill all the time you have no more chill time.
Kody:No, I've never accepted that, and I'd rather not chill. That also helps as a motivation.
Kody:You know if you want to be lazy.
Kody:You have no choice.
Kody:It sure does. The bills got to get paid, because it's one thing if I'm a little cold, but like the kids, can't be cold.
Kody:Like that's where you know, if I was, if I didn't have anything to worry about and I had no bills, I would be a lazy piece of shit. I'd be chilling all the time. But I do have to pay for things, so I can't chill. Now, if you have a kid, you have a fucking life to take care of, so you really can't chill anymore. No, it's a motivation driver, Sam. That's why you should get a girlfriend and have a kid. It'll help you make more money because you'll have motivation. There you go, dude.
Kody:Now we're taking it full circle, we're knocking out all of the problems at the girl problem.
Kody:If you have a kid, get with a girl, have a kid. It gives you motivation because now you have no choice to be a loser. You have to do shit. You can't just chill.
Kody:You're trying to buy a house. Also, two incomes makes it way easier to buy a house.
Sam:Yeah, if they have another income. What if they're a fucking loser?
Kody:Well then, don't date them Then if you have a kid with them, you can pick out that they don't have a job before.
Kody:You have to be committed in the relationship.
Kody:And if you don't, that's your fault, then you didn't vet very well Okay here's a good question for you, sam If you could have the perfect girl that would let you go out with the boys, give you sex whenever you want. Breakfast made, dinner made everything is perfect in the house, but they make $0 income. Honestly, that's a pretty easy trade-off if you think about it, would you do that? But you have to cover the mortgage, you have to cover all the bills, but everything else is easy. House is clean.
Sam:Sure, you know absolutely, but everything else is easy House is clean. Sure, you know, absolutely, that's one thing. Like me and my buddies will talk about the stay-at-home wife and just the concept of it. It's the dream, in my opinion.
Kody:Well, again you add kids to the mix, it changes things pretty drastically because daycare is expensive. So from a standpoint a certain standpoint you look at it like you're making exactly the same amount as what it costs us in daycare. So why don't you just not work if you don't?
Kody:want to.
Kody:So that's a little bit different.
Sam:I will say that Well, it's just tough too, because you know what I, if I, if I had a stay at home wife, that with the kids, that watch the kids, kept the house nice, I wouldn't even like dinners, whatever. Did some laundry, like did something to take care of the home. It'd be fucking amazing what if?
Sam:I had a stay-at-home wife that just fucking truly stayed at home and did nothing. That would kill me, dude, I couldn't handle it. So it's like there's the yin and the yang of it so you want, you want like that I if it, if like, if I had your mom I would fucking love it.
Sam:Like I'm not taking no shots, I'm just saying like, respectfully you, dude, even when you, even when you were a 20 something year old man, you would go home after work and your mom would have a delicious dinner ready for your family never missed like I've been every time I've ever been in your house.
Kody:It's fucking beautifully clean like that is the situation I could live with but if they're just staying at home and not doing shit, then it's like oh, for sure you know you have to have one or the other. It's either you make money and we both have to pick up on things around the house, or you make no money.
Sam:But I want all this done because that's one thing you know, if we're gonna get on a mitch talk, that's one thing that that bothers me. Like you're not fucking it, dude, I dug this hole. I might as well keep going. That's one thing that bothers me is like I do. I do think that the I came in from a family where there wasn't a lot of like traditional values of like. My dad did help with the cooking and the cleaning and the laundry and that was completely normal, and so I don't.
Sam:I don't live with those standards, but if you are a stay-at-home wife, it's not that it's like I would expect them to do that no, it is just part of your job it's not like you're a woman now because you're staying at home, you have to do the laundry and have dinner ready for me, but it's like if you're just gonna do fucking nothing, then what's the point of doing this?
Kody:you know you're exactly right. That's my opinion on like women is, if you have if you have a girlfriend and they want to work and they want to help make money. I will have no problem with doing half the things around the house. I will have no problem with helping doing the laundry, cooking dinner some nights, I will have no problem with it. But if you don't want to do anything, the house has to be clean. My life has to be easier.
Sam:And let's not call it nothing.
Kody:I get what you're saying, but it sounds very abrasive when you say it out loud.
Kody:Andrew Tate, but it's true. If you want to stay home and you don't want to work, that's the requirement you have to do those things.
Kody:You need to pitch in somehow.
Kody:You have to pitch in somehow. It's not about saying, oh women should fucking make dinner and stay at home.
Kody:I'm not saying that I'm just saying if you're not gonna work, you have to pitch in. In that way is it? Is it is this chair that's racist and sexist. It just comes in, bitch gets replaced and we have a mitch number two. Now no, I'm just kidding, I think. I think you're right, I think it's. It's all down to contribution and, like you know, as long as there's a perceived equal contribution on both sides, that's going to be different to every single person.
Sam:Yeah.
Kody:For me personally, like I lucked out, like Taylor is such a clean freak, like she would clean if she was home 24-7, or if she's not home all the time, like she obviously works full time too. So all she does is clean Vacuums the house like every other day. Like keeps the place spotless. It looks like we're ready to sell our place at any time because she keeps it so clean. But on the flip side of that, now she also expects me to put in work like that at home, sure, and if I'm working 24 7, that to me is not an equal contribution so we're on the same page.
Kody:Don't call me me sexist Because, listen, if Taylor had a busy work week and the house wasn't clean two nights of the week and dinner wasn't made, you would brush it off Because you know she's busy, she's doing shit, right, yeah. But if she didn't have a job and she was at home all the time and you came home two days a week and everything was fucked and there was no food, you'd be like all right, you know you're not doing nothing.
Kody:Yeah, I get what you're saying. I'm more of a scavenger. Anyways.
Kody:More of a midnight refrigerator.
Sam:I can live on pretty modest rations if I need to Meal prep two weeks in advance.
Kody:Yeah, our unspoken rule that we have between Taylor and I is that as long as the kids have good food, we can kind of just figure it out. Now she actually, within the last couple years, has started cooking. She never used to. When we first started dating, I would do all the cooking, which is fine with me. I love cooking Me too. So this was like now. It's like, I would say, a 50-50 split, you know, between I'm making pork chops and steaks on the grill, or she's making spaghetti inside or whatever you know. So it's a pretty even contribution when it comes to that keep that bitch in the kitchen, baby, I like it.
Sam:I'm gonna do the mansion on the grill.
Kody:She would never work with the grill, which I'm fine with. That's my sanctuary, that's. That's scary for a woman I don't blame you at all I wouldn't trust him around the barbecue either but I feel like like there's also a hotness scale too, because if I had Cody's wife.
Sam:I would put up with anything.
Kody:I would hire a maid to make it work.
Kody:dude, I don't give a fuck. It's like driving a fancy car. It's going to have all the issues, but you get the brand with it.
Sam:You get to show her around, bring her around for your friends to see.
Kody:Hey, it's got 120,000 miles on it, but it's a Mercedes.
Kody:But it's got a V12. It breaks down at least once every two days.
Kody:There's a lot of similarities here.
Sam:Exactly yeah. So with that, any woman looking for me fucking hit my line dude.
Kody:We've been talking about this for years and I know it's been done so many times by now, but let's do a dating show. No dude, let's do a dating show.
Kody:Let's do it like a 10. Sam on the podium, like a 10 versus 1 or something.
Sam:That's like literally putting me in like one of I can't even imagine.
Kody:Well, you have the perfect cop out. You get 10 of these women. You get to get as close, ask as intimate questions as you want, because it'll be good content. But then also, if none of them truly work out, you can say, oh, it was just for the video. But if one does, you're like all right, you're in. You have a good cop-out, you have a great cop-out.
Sam:Yeah, no, I don't know.
Kody:No, dude this is a great opportunity.
Kody:Sign this contract.
Sam:Genuine love. You've got to ask the right questions.
Kody:Do you have a job? What if you?
Kody:met that same girl somewhere else, then you would consider it real. If it wasn't a dating show.
Sam:Well, I'm in a position where I'm just looking for one woman to even be slightly interested. You think we're going to find a pool of 10 that are just dying to be my significant other.
Kody:No, but I think we'll find a pool of 10 that are dying to be on any camera.
Sam:And then maybe I can grism up. I like it, dude, I'm in.
Kody:You hooked them with the personality and then you set the hook or you reeled it in with the charm In your wiener and your wiener yeah.
Sam:No, that's foolproof plan I. I'm all about, all right we'll get this crack in.
Kody:Uh, ladies, if we know that you're listening, uh, call sam hit us up shoot us a dm to get on the dating show no weirdos, and you have to have a job. What are your requirements actually?
Sam:as long as we're listing it out, what would the application look like?
Kody:that's a good question obviously have to have a job. We've talked about that.
Sam:No, no that's not a if I would be willing. Well, student gets a little dicey. Now I would. I was gonna say I'd be willing to date a student, but they'd have to be like a senior in college.
Kody:How about, like a Mankato girl, I'm in dude. Whores are welcome.
Sam:I want to fix you.
Kody:That won't work.
Kody:Sam that won't work.
Sam:Age range I like them a little older, I would say 20.
Kody:Now hold on hold on. Let's rewind that You're going to offend them by calling them older, so we don't use that verbiage. Maybe this is the age that I like.
Sam:I like them to be past Epstein Island age.
Kody:Okay, that's fair. So, like 18 plus 19 plus.
Sam:No 21 plus 21 plus Bar age for sure.
Kody:We need to be able to go to a nice steakhouse and get a glass of wine.
Sam:Yeah.
Kody:Yeah, okay, 21 to 40. Oh, okay, I was going to say 30, but okay, you opened it up quite a bit 21 to 40.
Sam:We need a big range.
Kody:Height you need a big range Height. Height doesn't matter, as long as it's under 5'9". Okay, under 5'9".
Sam:Ethnicity Opened all.
Kody:Okay, this is going to be a touchy subject and people probably won't want to admit this Weight Body type I'm really open with that.
Sam:That's not something I Honestly. Bigger is better to a certain fucking point.
Kody:Okay, I'm not in you know, if they're too skinny. This pool is wide open. The filters are wide open. We're showing a thousand results right now on the search page. What else? Religion?
Sam:Oh, they can't be too religious. Okay, I'm probably not a Muslimlim they've prayed too much.
Kody:That's a good point. Seven times a day, or whatever if that would freak me out um hair color. This is a make or break for anything natural, anything natural color.
Sam:It doesn't have to be their natural color, but just a standard tone no, you're telling me, I was gonna say no purple, no blue pink. You know those are the obvious no's. But like, even like a too much of a red, fake red or really like a blonde that like is more of like a platinum blonde dude platinum.
Kody:Okay, a natural platinum blonde.
Sam:This is all preference unreal me, but if they are a full diet I'm not into that Dude, platinum blonde is a free three points on any girl.
Kody:Really Added to their Correct, if a girl is a five and she's platinum blonde. She's an eight. Wow, that's my opinion. Wow, platinum blonde is.
Kody:That's a temporary thing, though. Here's the thing you can change anything. Appearance-wise, man, woman, does not matter. You're big, you want to be skinny you can do that. You can go into the body shop. You want to have a skinny face. You want to have a different muscle structure? You can do all this. You want to have different hair color? You can do that. I think you focus more on character, more on traits okay.
Sam:Well, girls that think they're funny are gone why, keyword. Think if they're actually funny, they're in okay, if they think if anytime I've ever heard a girl talk about how they're funny, have you?
Kody:ever met a funny girl, a couple.
Sam:I'm not going to sit here, I'm not going to Mitch myself around and say I've never met a funny girl in my life.
Kody:No, it's rare.
Sam:Because they're there. Don't get me wrong, it's rare he says no, it's rare, it's a diamond in the rough.
Kody:I've met two. I've met two funny girls. Girls will make a funny joke sure. But, a girl that you're actually laughing nonstop, consistently because they're funny.
Sam:Where they're like legit, you would consider them a funny person. I'm not going to sit here and say a girl can't be funny. I'm just saying you're not a funny fucking person. And so girls that think they're funny gonzo.
Kody:No, and the girls that are actually funny, don't think they're funny.
Kody:Okay, that's fair Hard working. Yeah, she has to have motivation has to have drive For sure. Competitiveness Do you want someone who's competitive or no?
Sam:No, because I'm extremely competitive. I think I need a little bit of yang on that one. Yeah, okay.
Kody:Dude, that's a big deal. So I think I need a little bit of yang on that one. Yeah, okay, dude, that's a big deal. So Katie is very competitive and you can't play any game with her.
Sam:Yeah, it's ridiculous. I need someone that will let me win, Dude, it ruins everything.
Kody:We'll just be playing. We'll go to the gym on a Saturday night play some volleyball. I'm getting fucking he's bump set spiking. I'm getting 70 mile an hour fucking serve. Set to me like and it's, it's not. It's won't even give me a point, it's not even fun, any game we play.
Kody:If it's a kid's game, you know it's, she's like I'm gonna kick your ass. You know, have you guys ever played monopoly together? Because?
Kody:that's a good that's a good relationship ruiner he said that, like he was like a war, that we have, and it's almost like to the point where you don't even want to cloud it when you win, because you can tell they're a little or dude, I can't imagine playing with your significant other and you're about to bankrupt them because they just fell on your property and they can't do it.
Kody:No, I did that with katie and she would like land on my property. I'd be like I'd see she has like a hundred dollars left and the rent would be like, or the the payment would be like 700 bucks and I'd be like you can just give me 50.
Kody:You can just give me 50 when I was a kid, we'd play monopoly as a family and we never got through a full game ever because people would be doing side deals under the table and it'd blow up the whole game. You know people be trading property, sliding money off to the side.
Kody:It was like they were like my family would treat this like real business, and I hated it, and so it would always end up with one of us just leaving the table because, like two or three of us would team up on the other one hey, we need to get out of here, dude.
Sam:It would just ruin the game. Yeah, it does get ruthless yeah, the competitiveness.
Kody:So back to the application for for dating competitive probably mild or for not mild, because if you're motivated you have some level of competitiveness in you right a little spit fire in them, yeah right, so maybe not a die hard. I have to win everything. Sure you're okay with losing every once in a while, yeah, okay, well, what do you think you think we got a good pool of gals to select from? I think we opened up a massive pool. You have a pretty vague understanding of who you want to be with, I think.
Sam:I'm pretty desperate. Don't say that, cut that, edit that, bleep that out.
Kody:I mean mean, if you have a pulse just hit my line, for the love of god. Okay, you've been convinced, all right, I think. Well, what do you think? Do we wrap this thing up and end it there? If there's any girls out there that want to compete in this dating show, for sam's love, no, we have to we have, if you would want.
Sam:If you want to be honored with my personal love, hit our line.
Kody:All right, we'll see you in the DMs.
